A guy once sent a message to Kelly using the word “awesome” three times (“and not ironically,” she adds). I mean, get a thesaurus! A male reader of mine friended me on Facebook and suggested we grab a drink or a bite to eat the next time I am in San Francisco. Strangers like to throw it out there immediately, but people you actually know? First there is flirting and finessing!
A guy once sent a message to Kelly using the word “awesome” three times (“and not ironically,” she adds). I mean, get a thesaurus!
A male reader of mine friended me on Facebook and suggested we grab a drink or a bite to eat the next time I am in San Francisco. Strangers like to throw it out there immediately, but people you actually know? First there is flirting and finessing!
Now, where there is “game,” there are rules—whether or not you choose to acknowledge them. I would apply much of the regular flirting rules to online flirting. However, the difficult terrain is navigating the flow of information-sharing and your reaction time, since it's possible to control it. For example, in person you would laugh immediately at his joke, but online, do you write “LOL” right away, or do you use the 2-day rule? You don't want to appear too anxious, but if you let him simmer for 48 hours, your reply loses relevance. Well, no one has all the answers. But here's my best interpretation of the flirting rules as they apply to Facebook and Twitter.
Đang xem: What are the proper procedures for flirting over facebook?
It's okay to look him up.
The Millionaire Matchmaker once said, “He who speaks first is masculine energy.” I think this means you can search for a guy and friend him, but don't send him a long synopsis of what happened last night after he left with his buddies. My friend Kelly recommends posting on his wall a cute little statement that doesn't require a response, so if he does reply, there's a chance he's interested.
Keep it clean.
Try not to post anything on your profile that you wouldn't say in front of your parents. If the guy is big on privacy, he'll be hesitant to get involved with someone he thinks will kiss and tell.
Rushing responses can seem overly anxious.
In general, the shorter the medium (text message, IM, or wall posts), the quicker you can respond. If it's an email, I usually reply within 1-24 hours. Also: It's fine to invite him to a party, but don't hurry a conversation just because you have an event coming up and you want get to a place where you feel comfortable asking him. Every time I have rushed something out of anxiety for my own schedule, it didn't work.
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If you tweet that you went to a party you didn't really go to, the guy might catch you in the lie later. Why brag to get a guy's attention? It's insecure. Your Facebook profile should reflect exactly who you are, which is fabulous!
Less is more.
Retain a little mystery—don't update your status every 5 minutes just to stay visible on his newsfeed. If you give a play-by-play of your life, you can't possibly be interesting all the time. On Twitter, I stop following people who tweet 9 updates in a row.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Why not publish an album of last night's party? Post flattering photos of yourself and yes, it's okay to tag photos of your crush…but don't be offended if he untags himself. That's his prerogative, and guys like to control any and all public information that concerns them.
Watch your word count.
Avoid oversharing or seeming anxious or needy. If he writes 7-word messages, keep your messages short and breezy, too. (This is why Twitter is good, because it forces you to be economical with your words!)
Weave him into a narrative.
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If you follow each other on Twitter, mentioning him once (
theguyyoulike) is fine, but if he never mentions you, I wouldn't continue. It's a creative and passive way to flirt but an interested guy will eventually take it offline and ask you out.
When in doubt, share info in moderation. But don't worry too much about any of these rules, as the right person will love you no matter what or when or how much you type!