How to flirt with confidence

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Jude Palerupdated September 19, 2022, 7:51 am


Dating is supposedly easier than ever before (with tons of apps và sites built specifically for the purpose of helping you find your next dinner date) but for some of us, it seems lớn be getting harder & harder.

But just because you don’t have the body of a superhero or the looks of a mã sản phẩm doesn’t mean you can’t have any luck in the dating department.

It’s just about knowing what buttons to press—and how to lớn press them.

Here are 26 of the finest tips on flirting lượt thích the best of the best.

1) How lớn flirt: Stay coy

It’s all about exercising the principle of, “We want what we can’t have.”

If you’re at a party, conference, or any sort of gathering, & you think that you’ve got a particular spark going on with a potential date, the last thing you want to vày is throw yourself at their feet.

Talk to lớn other people, spread your attention around, and zone in và out of tương tác with them.

Make them know that you’re interested, but not too interested.

2) Believe that you can bởi vì it

No one’s ever going lớn believe that you can give them a great time if you yourself don’t believe in it.

Belief goes a long way towards turning you from a shy, hunched kid to lớn a confident potential partner, from the way you talk to lớn how you hold yourself.

3) Genuinely notice them

One thing that many people miss these days is the attention khổng lồ genuinely notice those around them.

Stick the quick scans lớn everyone else; to lớn the person you want khổng lồ impress, you want to lớn really look at them.

See the effort they put into their outfit or their hair, or the impressive things they talk about, and let them know that you’ve noticed. You will make them start noticing you back.

4) Ask và care

Why would you date someone who couldn’t care less about you?

Take the opportunity lớn ask them questions and figure out who they are.

While it might be too early to lớn talk about their greatest fears và aspirations the first time you meet, there’s no harm in asking about their career, their hobbies, their passions, and more.

5) Speak their language

Male and female brains are biologically different.

For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing center of the brain & it’s much larger in the female brain than in a man’s.

That’s why women are more in cảm biến with their emotions. Và why guys can struggle to lớn process và understand their feelings.

You need lớn be aware of this when you flirt with a thành viên of the opposite sex.

6) Stay close

If you want someone khổng lồ feel that you like them (and make them like you back), an easy cheat to vày this is khổng lồ stay close to lớn them.

Try not lớn be uncomfortably close, but close enough that you occasionally brush arms và can talk without raising your voice.

Position yourself close to lớn them but without seeming intentional. That way, you can see the person’s face & is near enough for witty banter và eyelash batting.

Then try lớn get busy and pretend you’re getting something from the kitchen at a buổi tiệc nhỏ while making sure that the other person saw where you’re going.

If they show up near you a few times, it means they are interested in you.

7) Smile!

Smiling is genuine, honest, và an easy way khổng lồ turn your mug into one much more attractive than it actually is.

Even if you think you’ve got a lame smile, go for it anyway. No one can resist genuine happiness, especially when you direct it at them.

(In my new article, I explain why women don’t choose the guy who makes the most “sense” khổng lồ be with – they look for these 3 ‘body language cues’ instead. Check it out here).

8) Introduce yourself properly

If you find yourself checking out a potential date at a bar, library, or any public space, you might find it difficult to approach.

Think of it lượt thích this: it’s all in the introduction.

There’s absolutely no reason lớn start off with a silly icebreaker; no one wants lớn feel like they’re just a trò chơi to be played with.

Introduce yourself, and then ask them how they’re doing. If they reject you, then just smile và move on.

9) Treat them lượt thích someone you respect

We often forget when trying khổng lồ impress possible lãng mạn companions that at the end of the day, they’re just human like everyone else.

And the biggest thing that humans crave is respect.

Why go out of your way khổng lồ make your next partner feel lượt thích you’re just toying with them?

It’s less about knowing what lớn do, & more about just letting yourself react normally lớn every situation và question.

10) Tease them playfully

The longer the conversation goes, the more opportunity you will have to be playful. And a great way to show this person that you aren’t afraid lớn be playful is by teasing.

Tease them about a silly joke, or about the drink they chose, or even about a story they just shared with you.

But remember: there’s a very fine line between playful teasing & offensive teasing. When you don’t really know the person yet, it’s better khổng lồ be safe than sorry.

11) Don’t beat around the bush

You might have had a ton of time to wait around for a text or wonder if your crush is interested when you were in high school or college, but the older you get, the more forward you have khổng lồ be.

If you’re interested in someone you’ve just met, then let them know that you are.

Make a joke about how you’re flirting with them, or find some other way to lớn indicate that your intentions are more than just friendly.

RELATED: Avoid “awkward silence” around women with this 1 brilliant trick

12) Just be you

Stop trying khổng lồ pretend lớn be someone you’re not. Be you, và make sure that you are a person you are proud lớn be.

The longer you put up a show just lớn impress someone on a date, the more difficult it will be when they realize that your false persona is nothing lượt thích you at all.

Besides, vày you really want someone who falls in love with a personality that isn’t yours?

Don’t nhái it.

Be yourself and enjoy the moment. Make gentle fun of yourself & the surroundings.

Then, find out what their interests are, who they be with, things that make them smile, what numbers khổng lồ dial.

13) Relax và stay calm

Be sincere & relax, because your potential partner can see the tension in your eyes.

Take a deep breath & throw down your walls.

Let them understand the truth you want lớn convey: that you enjoy their presence, & you want them to lớn enjoy yours.

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14) Compliment the unexpected

We all want to feel special, & we all have our own little quirks and unique qualities.

The moment someone else recognizes these quality qualities that we quietly cherish is the moment that we start to see them in a different light.

Why? Because it shows us that they were truly paying attention in a way that most people don’t.

While compliments in person have a greater effect, complimenting over messages also works.

15) Pay attention to the cues

Social cues are another way of communicating that many people take for granted.

Pay attention to the things a person does outside of your conversation.

Do they lean towards you? vì they ask their friends khổng lồ leave you guys alone? bởi vì they tuck away their phone, or turn to it every chance they get?

Pay attention và read the signs.

16) Focus between the eyes and the lips

This is the perfect part of the face for your eyes khổng lồ land on—that small space between the eyes & the lips, showing them that you’re interested in what they have to lớn say, & how they say it.

When you talk, look at their lips then glance up lớn the eyes và give a slight smile.

When you couple this tip with a slightly open mouth, it’s very effective.

Take a second nice, long look, và moisten your lips with the tip of your tongue and voila! You’re the focus of their attention now.

17) Subtle skin touching

Stay near them but bởi not make it seem lượt thích you are a stalker. That’s creepy.

Just sit beside them and try khổng lồ make your legs cảm ứng subtly while keeping a conversation going.

Act like you did not notice your legs or your knees are touching. Or give them the clue that you didn’t sit like that khổng lồ touch them, it just happened và now you’re comfy.

Shoulder lớn shoulder is also another way for a subtle skin touching. The key is to lớn make yourself known but without appearing too aggressive.

18) Make eye contact

Eye liên hệ is the primary way of showing interest if you have not spoken yet to your person of interest.

Lock eyes and let your glance linger then give a sweet, confident smile and look slowly away.

But be sure lớn keep an eye out for a companion who might have stepped away khổng lồ the bathroom before you try this flirting technique!

The táo khuyết of your eye may already be taken so be careful with this tip.

When you have already made sure he or she is single, converse with them và look them in the eye when they talk.

This will show that they have your undivided attention, which is rare these days.

19) Ask basic questions

When you ask questions about what they talk about, it shows you care.

Just like a good friend with a listening ear, give them your attention when they talk about something. Never make jokes at the expense of anything they care about.

When they get excited for what they want to do, cốt truyện their excitement và passion. Be a person who is attentive to lớn his or her cues.

20) Crack a joke

Crack some relevant jokes that are relevant khổng lồ your conversation. If they are interested in you, it’ll be because of your conversation & demeanor.

Cheesy pickup lines are not recommended because it’s awkward when they can’t get it.

If you are confident that they will laugh at your pick up line, then make it a joke…or leave it at home.

21) Be witty

Men like witty women. If witty comments come naturally to you, feel không tính phí to incorporate them as you develop your skills in how lớn flirt.

Just avoid being overly sarcastic or coming up with cheesy flirt lines that will make you come off as awkward or aggressive.

Your humor should come naturally lớn you & make him laugh out loud. If the effort doesn’t get the intended results, he might have a different sense of humor than you. Find another flirting strategy!

22) Compliment them

Giving a compliment will make their hearts melt or their lips smile. You can say words like:

Wow, your red shoes are amazing!”

“I lượt thích how your shirt really brings out the xanh in your eyes.”

“Wow, I like your hair. Did you style it differently?”

When you genuinely compliment them, they feel as though they are special.

They realize that you see them in a way that maybe they didn’t realize before.

So spill out those compliments but don’t go crazy with it, or you may come off as a little psycho.

23) Pay attention to their body language

Look for small social signals that the person likes you too.

When they are speaking to you, are they turning their head a bit khổng lồ talk khổng lồ you? bởi they touch subtly cảm biến your skin while in conversation? Are they making eye contact?

They are not a written invitation but it shows they are comfortable in your presence.

24) Avoid being drunk

Avoid flirting when drunk or you will suffer from the “beer goggles” syndrome.

They may look absolutely hot after a few glasses of beer or wine, and so you flirt. Then you make out & the next day you find a picture of them and you regret your decision.

Alcohol affects your mind’s ability lớn make smart decisions và it also seriously screw with your ability to flirt well. When you’re drunk, your jokes will come off as sloppy even if it sounded so good in your head.

So, avoid drinking & flirting at the same time. When your crush is in the same các buổi party you’re in, cut back on your alcohol consumption so that you can flirt with all cylinders firing.

25) Stick to one

Never play the jealousy trò chơi involving another person. Maybe the one you lượt thích is across the room, so you flirt with another person. Or you make the one who likes you jealous mercilessly.

If you are a teenager, then these games are understandable but if you’re at your ’20s or so, try khổng lồ act your age.

These are games better left to younger, less mature folks. Remember you are more mature và wiser now. You’re better than the games you played when you were younger.

26) Don’t use sex to flirt

Sex is NOT a flirting strategy!

Women, your bodies are not what men value if you are looking for a serious relationship. This is the same for men. Women vày not value your ripped bodies that much. Yes, it adds to lớn the attraction but it’s not the only thing they can see.

Certainly, physical attraction is important but you are more than that. When using sex to lớn connect, it could end up being a one-night stand only.

Sure, they can be attracted khổng lồ your body but give them a glimpse of your intelligence và soul to lớn latch onto as well. They will be coming back for more and the physical intimacy will come later, naturally.

In Conclusion

The good thing about flirting is that it is highly customizable. So if you’re super funny, then use that as leverage.

Or if you find that touching them in the right way gets you results, use it to score phone numbers.

No matter how you flirt, always remember that the kết thúc goal is lớn find someone that’s right for you. It will take time and maybe some rejections too.

But don’t chiến bại hope, the right one will come at the right time.

For now, let us know which flirting techniques have worked for you in the comments below.