How to flirt with a girl on social media

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A half-generation ago, if you were romantically interested in someone, you did one of two things to fan the flame of their own ardor: You either flirted with them in person or flirted with them over the phone. How times have changed. A single friend of mine recently told me that his go-to, low-risk method of wooing is simply using social media. Yes, he has figured out how khổng lồ properly flirt on Instagram. There are several non-creepy & even thắm thiết ways to do it.

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"Sometimes just following a can feel lượt thích a bold move," he says. "But believe it or not, it works. If she doesn"t follow back, that"s pretty helpful information. & if she does follow me back, I"ll just start liking a photo or two and see where things go… Recently, I got into a back-and-forth with a in which we kept wordlessly liking each other"s photos every couple of minutes. Eventually we DM"d and went on a date."


For the record: he"s 38 years old.

Now, whatever you think about this safe, distanced, & even childish way of flirting (for the record: I would urge all men lớn pick up the phone, always), you simply can"t argue with results. So I called up a few dating và social truyền thông experts to lớn compile the ultimate dos & don"ts of flirting on Instagram to help you follow, like, & DM your way khổng lồ relationship bliss.ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb

Do: Follow them before you slide into their DMs.

If you want khổng lồ get someone"s attention, follow them. "Most people view who their followers are & if the other person follows you back, you are already ahead of the game," says Jen Hecht, president of The Dating Advisory Board. This is one action on Instagram that really won"t be perceived as too aggressive by anyone, regardless of whether you know them in real life or not. But one word of caution: If you request khổng lồ follow someone who has a private profile và they don"t accept your request, don"t request again. Sorry. They"re just not that into you.


Don"t: lượt thích every single photo they post.

All of our experts agree that a mass liking of someone else"s posts is a terrible idea that comes off as obsessive. If you are going to like more than one photo, though, here"s one salient piece of advice: "I advise guys to lượt thích a variety of pictures, not just selfies and sexy photos," says Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor, dating expert, & founder of The Popular Man. "Build a rapport và get khổng lồ know her by actually exploring photos that reveal more than just her looks. Women know what a guy is after when he only focuses on the sexy photos."


Do: Send a thoughtful DM.

Ah, to lớn direct message or not to lớn direct message? Sometimes, it might seem like sending someone a DM is a little bit too forward, but "it"s not creepy if it"s done tastefully," says Hecht. After all, you"re an adult, và you know what you want. "Be light, funny, & engaging when sending the message," she advises. If you"re reaching out khổng lồ someone you"ve never met before, be especially careful to keep things appropriate. "How would you reach out to lớn a prospective business client if you were trying khổng lồ set up an initial meeting? The same principles apply reaching out khổng lồ a love interest," Hecht posits. If you already know your love interest, however, skip the DM and text or thư điện tử them instead.

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Don"t: Send multiple DMs.

"The basic rule of social media flirting is don"t be creepy," says Bennett. Repeat messages when you"re not getting a response? Yeah. Creepy. Instagram messages have a handy feature that displays the word "seen" once the recipient has read the message. If your love interest has read your message but has not responded, take the hint.

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Shutterstock/Halfpoint

Do: Make your move và then let it go.

Overall, Karwowski has one all-encompassing rule for Instagram flirting: "Drop a hint once và then drop it, especially if you vị not know the person," she advises. "Repetitive comments, likes, và other actions expressing interests vày not count as actual flirting." If they don"t take the hint, move on or seek out a more straightforward way lớn let them know you"re interested, like calling khổng lồ ask them on a date.


Don"t: Rely on social truyền thông to get dates.

"The truth is that Instagram was not intended as a dating site, so it can be very confusing when it"s used as one," explains Nikki Goldstein, sexologist và author of Single But Dating. "How bởi vì you know if someone is liking your photos because they actually lượt thích your photos or because they lượt thích you? There might be a few more obvious clues if they are sending you direct messages & asking you out for a date but e-flirting in terms of follows và likes can be misleading và confusing & leave someone asking, "What does it mean?"" In other words, if you"re really sure you like someone and you have the means to contact them outside of Instagram, that"s probably a better bet.