7 techniques for getting people to actually listen to what you're saying

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At the heart of humanity is an intrinsic need to feel loved & cared for. This desire articulates itself in many different ways, but one of the most basic expressions of this need comes in the form of being heard & respected.

Listening khổng lồ someone tells them that you care about what they have to say. But more than caring about the words they’re speaking, the listener is saying that they respect the individual enough lớn take time out of their busy schedule to lớn consider what they deem important.

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The problem is that we live in a world where people prefer hearing themselves talk over listening to lớn others speak. Ultimately, this has created a hostile work environment where the powerful speak and everyone else listens, when a healthy business actually requires mutual conveyance & reception of ideas.

7 techniques that will Help you be heard

The structure of our society and the way in which people communicate in professional settings, unfortunately, means that you have lớn fight for yourself if you want people khổng lồ listen. With that being said, you’ll benefit from employing the following techniques.

1. Stop mindless chatter

Have you ever considered the possibility that people don’t listen to you because you’re always talking? Ironically, people who talk the most get listened khổng lồ the least. This is because mindless chatter yields very little value. Why would anyone want khổng lồ waste their time listening khổng lồ someone who isn’t conveying anything of value in their words?

NPR radio show host Marty Nemko believes he’s developed a simple strategy that tells people when to lớn stop talking. He calls it the traffic light strategy và it uses the colors green, yellow, và red khổng lồ rein in chatter. The first trăng tròn seconds of speech are known as the green light period. “Your listener is liking you, as long as your statement is relevant khổng lồ the conversation và hopefully in service of the other person,” Nemko says. The next đôi mươi seconds are known as the yellow light period. “Now the risk is increasing that the other person is beginning to lose interest or think you’re long-winded.”

After the 40 second mark, you hit the red light period. “Yes, there’s an occasional time you want to lớn run that red light và keep talking,” Nemko points out, “but the vast majority of the time, you’d better stop or you’re in danger.”

Whatever strategy you use, it’s important that you stop mindless talking. Otherwise, you’ll be like the boy who cried wolf & nobody will want anything to vì with you when you actually have something important khổng lồ say.

2. Understand what listening looks like

You need to lớn understand what true listening looks like before you can expect others to lớn listen khổng lồ you. Listening is not merely being quiet while others talk. It’s about being quiet, looking the speaker in the eyes, and processing what they have to lớn say. Then, at the appropriate time, you respond or interject.

When responding or interjecting, resist the temptation lớn begin speaking yourself. Don’t tell a story that loosely relates to what they’re talking about just because you feel like you need to địa chỉ cửa hàng something to lớn the conversation. Instead, ask them questions lớn show that you’re processing what they’re saying. Tell them when you agree with a statement. Inform them when you disagree with something. This is how you actively listen.


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Remove distractions from the environment

If you find that people often don’t listen khổng lồ you, it’s possible that you’re trying lớn compete for attention and are losing out. If you’re a parent, this is something you’re all too familiar with. Getting kids lớn listen when their favorite TV show is on is nearly impossible. The house could be burning down around them & their eyes would stay glued to lớn the screen.

While your coworkers aren’t children, these basic tendencies remain. If you’re trying khổng lồ tell your coworker about something & they’re checking their e-mail at the same time, they aren’t really listening lớn what you have khổng lồ say. Politely ask them if you should come back at another time. This will usually garner their full attention.

4. Put important things in writing

Let’s say you have the opportunity to deliver a quick five-minute presentation in a meeting with key company advisors. You develop what you believe is an articulate and concise speech that will wow those in attendance và help improve your reputation around the company. But after delivering the presentation, you notice people asking you questions about things you just said. Were they not listening?

While it’s possible that some of them tuned out, the reality is that most people only remember 25 percent of the things they listen to. This means that even just minutes later, people forget some of the things you say. In a situation lượt thích this, you can help your audience remember by putting important things in writing. When people are able lớn read along và hear you speak at the same time, absorption of ideas stands a better chance.

5. Watch your body toàn thân language

Much of communication is nonverbal. If you’re only thinking about your words when speaking lớn others, you aren’t taking into tài khoản the importance of toàn thân language and how you present yourself to lớn your listeners.

According to lớn social psychologist Amy Neuzil, you can command a lot of authority by tactfully controlling your physical image. In her TED Talk, she points out that standing in a high nguồn pose for two minutes makes you feel more confident, elevates testosterone levels, & promotes the release of cortisol (which curbs stress). The final result is more confidence, which naturally draws people in and motivates them to lớn listen.

6. Cut lớn the chase

Research shows that people spend 70 lớn 80 percent of their day engaged in some type of communication, & roughly 55 percent of their time is strictly devoted khổng lồ listening. With such a huge chunk of the average person’s day spent listening, the last thing someone wants to bởi vì is listen more than they have to.

One incredibly useful skill you can learn is how to cut to the chase. Pleasantries are nice, but often unnecessary. Get to the point & people will appreciate your brevity. Furthermore, they’ll be more apt lớn listen in the future since they know it won’t require a huge time investment.

7. Build relationships with those around you

The most beloved business owners and CEOs in the world are those who have personal relationships with their employees. Because they’ve taken the time to lớn get to know their employees, people listen to them. They’ve developed a workplace culture. They’ve earned the credibility. (This is loosely tied khổng lồ the psychological phenomenon known as the mere exposure effect.)

While you may not be a business owner or CEO, you can apply some of the same lessons. If you want people khổng lồ listen khổng lồ you & respect your opinions, work on building relationships. People are much more likely lớn take the time lớn listen if they respect you on a personal level.

You deserve khổng lồ be heard

As a human being, you deserve the right to lớn be heard. But that doesn’t always mean you will be heard. If you want people to lớn listen to your ideas & respect your opinions in the workplace, you have lớn stick up for yourself.

Whether or not people listen khổng lồ you is largely dependent on how you carry yourself. Understanding this, actively work to lớn ensure you aren’t just blending in with the masses. Pick the right moments to stand out và you won’t just be heard by your peers – you’ll also command the ears of your superiors.