12 loving ways to make your dad happy


When you ask, "Why vì I hate my father?" you're recognizing that there is something missing in your relationship with your father, or that something is not quite right. Being in cảm ứng with yourself, your emotions, và whether or not you feel good is so important for your own mental health & wellbeing. There are many adult children who struggle with parental relationships; if you believe that you may hate your father, it’s important lớn ask yourself why. Never feel guilty for asking the question. This recognition is the first step towards resolving the relationship or letting it go. When you know why you feel this way, you can begin to answer the question, "What's next?" Perhaps you don't recognize such a strong feeling when thinking about your father, but have an awareness that your relationship is not what you would lượt thích it to lớn be. This article will cover a few of the possible reasons you might feel that way.

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You Feel No Connection with Him


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Many grown children feel completely disconnected from their fathers. Sometimes, the problem takes root because the father gives too much of his time and energy to his career. If your father abandoned you completely, you may hate him even more. It might seem odd that you can feel so apart from him và at the same time feel deep anger và resentment towards him. Although your father wasn't a part of your daily life, you needed him to fulfill the role of father. For whatever reason, he let you down.We tend to lớn expect mothers khổng lồ be more emotional và nurturing of their children, và for fathers to be more practical. Traditionally, we also tend to lớn consider fathers the providers, và perhaps the disciplinarians. Regardless of the respective roles your parents played in your life, children have a need khổng lồ feel connected lớn both parents. In fact, quite surprisingly, research indicates that the absence of fathers is more damaging to lớn children than the absence of their mothers. This suggests that children have an innate need to connect with their fathers.

Because traditional gender roles dictate how men should behave-i.e. Emotionally distant, tough, impenetrable, và detached-some fathers have more difficulty being emotionally connected to anyone-including their children. Even though these expectations for men are usually supported culturally, they can be extremely damaging.Anyone can become a parent. There is no pre-test. There is no certification required. There is no education, or effective preparation, necessary. Just because someone becomes a parent, does not necessarily, nor automatically, ensure they are well-equipped khổng lồ serve this critically important role. This is not meant to lớn excuse any father's harmful behavior, but khổng lồ explain it. Children suffer when their fathers are not able khổng lồ be emotionally available khổng lồ them during their most vulnerable, formative years.

He Hurt You When You Were Vulnerable

Children depend on their parents in every way, at least for several years of their development. In fact, a child's literal dependence upon their parents is such a critical reality that young children adolescents, and sometimes even high school students, automatically accept responsibility for neglect or abuse suffered at the hands of their parents. As a child, you need your parents khổng lồ take care of your physical và emotional needs, which you aren't yet equipped khổng lồ fulfill yourself. You also need khổng lồ be taken care of with love và compassion. One of a child's most basic needs is to be loved unconditionally. Some fathers have no idea how to vì so. If your father hurt you physically or emotionally at the time you most needed him--when you were most vulnerable & trusting of his intentions--it's perfectly understandable that you feel hatred for him today.

Emotionally abusive parents can leave scars that are just as damaging as physical ones, even though emotional abuse is not tangible. No one should ever make the mistake of believing that emotionally abusive parents are not damaging simply because the negative impacts of their abuse cannot be seen with the naked eye. Sadly, there are many people today who struggle in their everyday lives due lớn unresolved emotional abuse from their parents during childhood years.

Others Talked Him Down

Although this reason may seem rare, it does happen, so it's worth looking into. Try lớn consider your father's characteristics, attitudes, words and behavior as objectively as you can, & think logically about how he treated you. What has he genuinely revealed about himself lớn you directly, in both word & action? Sometimes, other people have their own reasons for having a poor opinion of our parents. When they are unwise enough to lớn inflict those perceptions onto their children, the children are likely to lớn believe the negative opinions. You may have no reason at all to hate your father if the person putting him down did so out of selfish motives.

He Didn't giảm giá khuyến mãi with Your Teen Rebellion Appropriately

Many children go through a period of rebellion during their teenage years. It is a very natural & necessary stage of development, in which all adolescents must figure out who they are, separate from both their parents. Sometimes, it can be easy for parents lớn take rebellion on a personal màn chơi or believe that pushback from their teenagers is a reflection of neglectful or poor parenting; in many cases, this simply is not accurate. As teens learn và grow, it is natural for them khổng lồ seek more individualism và freedom, even if their methods of doing so are not always the best. A wise parent knows, or learns, how to deal with it appropriately so that everyone can come back together when the rebellion (or "individuation stage") has passed. The parents may learn skills to help them diffuse arguments. They realize your need khổng lồ be both independent & accepted. If your father didn't have these skills or know how to giảm giá with your rebellion, what could have been a temporary bump in the road might lead to lớn a lifetime of resentment instead.

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Sometimes, fathers may believe that authoritarian parenting is the best way to khuyễn mãi giảm giá with rebellious teenagers. However, many studies have shown that this is simply not the case. In fact, very strict parenting is linked khổng lồ children who learn how to become sneaky và work around their parents, rather than trust them.

He Hurt Someone You Love

Any father who is abusive khổng lồ a child's mother shouldn't be surprised if their child hates him. The same can be true if they hurt anyone who was important in your life. It can be tempting khổng lồ punish your father, out of loyalty, love, care and respect for your mother. It can also be very difficult to lớn see a happy mother turned into a sad mother because of a father’s actions or mistreatment. At the same time, loving one person well, does not require hating the one who harmed her. And healthy mothers will want their children lớn have healthy relationships with their fathers, unless attempting to vày so places you in potential physical, mental, or emotional danger. A professional counselor can help you figure out if you should move forward with your relationship with your dad, or let it go.

He Didn’t Spend Enough Time with You

Parental bonding is so important to lớn children, especially during the latter’s formative years of growth & development. When a father is regularly absent, not around, or even preoccupied with issues such as bipolar disorders, eating disorders, etc., this puts children in a very difficult spot. Many fathers who work in busy careers, such as art design, politics, business, finance, world politics, etc., may not spend as much time with their children as they should. The lack of time can have harmful impacts on the family unit at large, causing children to blame themselves. As kids get older, they may begin to hate or resent absent fathers for not being around more often.

Healing from Hatred for Your Father

Although the hatred of your father may run extremely deep-and may even span generations-you shouldn't abandon hope for recovery. Many men have found that consistent therapy sessions with a qualified professional can help resolve feelings of pain, confusion, and hatred toward fathers, in favor of acceptance and understanding. Some of these patients will go on to lớn develop stronger relationships with their fathers, some will engage in further therapy sessions with their fathers, and some will simply move forward, armed with the knowledge that they are not alone, and that their wounds will eventually heal; regardless, healing và moving forward from hatred for your father are certainly possible.

Therapy services are helpful for hatred of fathers, largely because therapists are equipped with tools to lớn help you get khổng lồ the root of your feelings-roots that might be obvious, in the case of people whose fathers abandoned their families, or roots that might be obscure, as may be the case of people whose fathers were seemingly model citizens, who stuck around and provided for their families. Familial relationships are complicated và multilayered, & it is almost impossible khổng lồ look at them through an unbiased perspective on your own. A therapist can help you peek into your own past & behavioral patterns lớn determine what exactly requires healing in order lớn ease the hatred you feel.

Whether you are seeking help specifically for feelings of hatred, or you are seeking mental health help for another reason, a therapist will have experience working with people who have similar feelings toward their fathers.

The Danger of Carrying Around Hatred

As seen above, there are myriad reasons why you may feel hatred towards your father và there’s no shame in choosing lớn your story. With that in mind, it’s important khổng lồ understand the dangers of carrying around hatred.For one thing, holding onto hatred can negatively impact your own mental health. Regardless of why you hate your father --- whether this has to vì chưng with parental alienation, personal disagreements, etc., --- hatred can greatly impact how you live a life.If you believe that you may be carrying around hatred, to lớn find therapist services, a treatment center, or even to lớn find a support group can be life-changing. Letting go of hatred doesn’t mean that you have to be close to lớn your father, especially if he was emotionally abusive. However, freeing yourself of hatred is something that will only benefit you in the long run, whether you’re in your early 20s or much older.