How to raise kids who love to learn

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By: tác giả Pamela Li, MS, MBAPamela Li is a bestselling author. She is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Parenting For Brain. Her educational background is in Electrical Engineering (MS, Stanford University) and Business Management (MBA, Harvard University). Learn more

Posted on Last updated: Nov 16, 2022 Evidence Based


Raising children is tough but it can also be extremely rewarding.

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11 Tips on Raising Children – According to Kids Themselves

1. “I learn by watching you. Become a role mã sản phẩm for me.”

Showing is better than telling in good parenting.

“Be a good role model” seems pretty obvious. But it’s easier said than done. Remember the last time your kid was pushing và pushing và finally, you yelled?

If we don’t want our kids to thua trận it when they feel being pushed to lớn their limits (chores, homework, vegies, etc.), we have to model how khổng lồ regulate our emotions & handle things that make us mad calmly. It’s very difficult, but our kids are watching us. We need to be the person we want our kids lớn become.

2. “Give me hugs & kisses. You can’t spoil me with those.”

They want our love, & we need to show them.

Love cannot spoil children. Only things we vì or give in the name of love, or even worst, in place of love, may vì that.

Showing affections to children helps create secure attachment và allows them khổng lồ build an internal working mã sản phẩm of loving relationships. This will have a tremendous impact on how they relate lớn others, especially in adulthood.

There are many healthy ways to show your love. Here are some examples that will not spoil your child.

Spend time doing things that you can enjoy together.Talk with them, và LISTEN lớn them.Cheer for their success.Empathize with their struggles.

3. “My brain is still developing và so I’m slow in learning. But I vày want lớn learn if you patiently & kindly teach me.”

Use kind and firm positive discipline.

Kids are not born khổng lồ “push our buttons”. Most children vày want khổng lồ learn. But learning takes time. Remember how many times your child fell before they learned to walk without wobbling?

Learning “human rules” is even more complex than learning “gravity rules”. It takes time to understand, absorb, incorporate & use that information.

If a child doesn’t get it the first ten times you say it, it doesn’t mean they are stubborn or strong-willed. It means they need more time và practice. They need your kind và firm guidance khổng lồ discipline them, not punish them.

4. “Always be here for me no matter what.”

Be your child’s secure base for them to lớn explore from and return to. Raise a child who is securely attached by being a warm và responsive parent.

Securely attached children are more resilient, show fewer behavioral problems​1​, perform better in school, & enjoy better mental well-being​2​.


For more help on calming tantrums, kiểm tra out this step-by-step guide

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5. “Talk with me. Don’t just talk at me.”

Have real conversations and listen carefully.

We often forget that communication is a two-way interaction. Talk with your child, discuss what’s on their mind và what’s important to lớn them. Things that are not important khổng lồ grownups can be very important to your child.

If we listen khổng lồ the small things when they’re small, they’ll come to us with big things when they grow up.

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6. “Sometimes I just want khổng lồ be heard without judgment or lecture.”

Like grownups, kids often want to vent. They want to lớn be heard và be understood. Listen with an mở cửa mind and empathy.

Parents of teenagers often wonder why their kids don’t talk lớn them anymore. One reason could be that no one likes lớn be lectured all the time. Also, no one wants lớn be around someone who lectures all the time.

7. “Accept who I am. Don’t constantly compare me khổng lồ other kids.”

Every parent wants their child to lớn be the best they can be. This natural desire may sometimes cause you khổng lồ compare your kid with others.

The Harvard Grant Study has found that having a parent-child relationship in which the child feels nurtured và accepted is the key to success in life​3​. So your tendency khổng lồ compare is actually doing your child a disservice.


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8. “Let me play outside a lot.”

The importance of play for young children cannot be overstated. Unstructured play outdoors is even better.

The outdoor environment is full of rich opportunities for development and learning. Playing outside usually allows children lớn have more autonomy & develop independence. Children can also engage in sensory play often not available in indoor facilities.

9. “Give me food that is nutritious and yummy.”

Children cannot buy or make their own food. So they rely on us lớn provide what they need.

Your child may not have the exact same taste as you do. When they refuse certain food, it may be tempting khổng lồ use the “Eat or Starve” method.

“You either eat it or starve” is essentially starving a child into submission, into having the exact same taste that you do.

Instead, look for healthy food that your child likes. There are many different types of nutritious food. It may take many trials and some creativity to find what your kid likes, but it’s doable.

10. “Please trust me.”

Making mistakes is not always a bad thing. If we want our children to have good judgment, we need to let them practice making decisions. That means they will inevitably make mistakes.

Let them make decisions on things that won’t be a danger, health risk, or inconvenience lớn others. A child cannot learn lớn walk without falling. They also can’t learn khổng lồ make good decisions without making bad ones.

11. “Your praise means so much to lớn me.”

Encouraging words can have a powerful positive effect on kids. Praise sincerely & focus on their efforts, not their abilities. When praises for kids are used right, they can make a big difference in a child’s self-esteem & intrinsic motivation.