8 tips for teaching kids to be more independent

A mom’s life can be a constant wish to see her children all grown up, & at the same time cry over how they grew up so fast.

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We want them to vị things on their own, but at the same time miss it when they longer need us.

We all want to raise independent children, there’s no doubt about it. But I have noticed that sometimesI tend to do certain tasks for them long after they are grown enough to vì chưng it on their own.

Teaching independence and letting them take control over their activities doesn’t mean you are neglecting them. In fact, teaching independence and important life skills is one of the best gifts we can give our children.


Teaching a child to be independent is important because it teaches them to think for themselves, be self-reliant & take on responsibilities in life.

When you teach them to lớn be independent, you are also helping them become confident adults who will be successful in life.

To become successful in life, you need to work for success by overcoming all the odds, at the same time believing in yourself. Fostering independence in kids give them the ability to lớn believe in themselves.

Many people push through their days & live their whole lives not doing the things they dream of, only because they are afraid. They don’t believe in themselves. They are afraid of failing và they have all these limiting beliefs that hold them back when they want khổng lồ attempt something.

Many of them come from childhood programming. As I live through and fight against my own limiting beliefs that got instilled in me as a child, I realize how much I can vì as a mother khổng lồ make my children’s life different.

I know that if I teach them lớn be self-reliant, they will grow up being more sure of themselves and venture out into the world to follow their dreams. They won’t be afraid of failure and trying new things.

But for that, we have to lớn begin now!

Let’s see how can we raise independent children who are sure of themselves.


If you have raised a toddler, you know how strong their will khổng lồ be independent can be. There is no stopping them because they think they can bởi anything.

If you have noticed children in general, they don’t have self-doubts about what they can vày or not. They think they can vì chưng anything & offer us help too.

It is us adults who restrict children because we think of them as incapable. Of course, we can’t let them bởi anything they ask for. But we need to think before restricting them.

So often I have been amazed by the ability of my kids khổng lồ help in the kitchen or other household chores because I had clearly underestimated them.

But if they insist & I let them bởi vì it, it’s far better than how I thought it would be. Therefore, now I let go of my fear and the need to control. This alone can help them try various things and increase confidence.

Instead of judgingthem và saying “No” outright, we can say, “Let’s try to vì this”.



Encouraging kids khổng lồ take part in household chores is a good idea to make them independent. Understand your child’s abilities and entrust them with appropriate tasks.

Your son may not be able to bởi what your friend’s son does. Each child has different abilities. Therefore, don’t pressurize or compare them with others.

Our aim is khổng lồ make them independent, not compare them with others and make them feel bad about themselves. It will lead khổng lồ just the opposite effect, that is, develop low self-esteem and a belief of “not good enough”.


You might feel bad when you see your child struggling with something. You don’t want him khổng lồ suffer. & your love for him might interfere & you will want to bởi vì it for him.

Children can sense your fear and it will gradually cause children to thua kém self-confidence & have a tendency khổng lồ be more dependent.

So, let them vì chưng what they want on their own. Or if you think they are old enough to lớn take care of some of their activities, encourage them to bởi vì it. You need lớn step in only when something life-threatening happens. Otherwise, just trust và let go of your protective instincts.

When they fail, let them try again và again. In fact, there is nothing called “failure” in life. There are only “lessons”. Every time you try something và fail to lớn achieve the desired result, you learn something new.

Teach your child about this when they feel frustrated about a failure. This will mở cửa new perspectives for them to view life.



To let them make mistakes & fail doesn’t mean you neglect them when they suffer.

As a parent, you can encourage them khổng lồ step out of their comfort zones slowly. At the same time, let them know that you are there for them whenever they make mistakes and need support.

We are social beings and we are dependent on each other to lớn satisfy our needs. We might not depend on others financially, but we need people to tư vấn us emotionally.

We are wired to crave for love & recognition from people who are the closest to us. Children và adults need recognition alike.

Offering them support makes them courageous lớn try things on their own because they know they have a strong support system.

If you are quick lớn judge & underestimate, they learn khổng lồ fear unknown things. I think that’s the starting point of the endless cycle of self-doubts for many people.

Let’s break the cycle. Let our children be different. Let us help them build a confident mind và a successful future.


Kids can start doing the tasks that they want if we can set up the trang chủ environment accordingly.

Keep their clothes, toys, utensils and other belongings on the lower parts of storage shelves, so that they don’t have khổng lồ seek your help for completing chores.

You can ask them khổng lồ get ready lớn school on their own. And also, they can pick up the toys after playing & put it back without anyone’s help.

Keep a safe stool in the bathroom so that your toddler can brush his teeth by himself. Or, reach for things that will help him accomplish his tasks.

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Kids often have lớn face problems in school & at home. Don’t rush to lớn solve their problems by offering solutions. Instead, you can walk them through their problems by asking questions and letting them come up with solutions.

Ask them questions like, “How bởi vì you think we can solve this?”, or, “What can we vị to make sure this doesn’t happen again?”. You might be surprised by their answers because they can have better ideas than you.

Hence, let them think about ideas khổng lồ solve problems on their own. Your job would be to lớn offer empathy và support.

This will help them to brainstorm solutions when they face problems.

I try khổng lồ praise my daughters when they solve a problem on their own. This increases their self-confidence and decreases the fear of making mistakes.




Kids should understand that there are consequences for their actions. Let them face it so that they learn their lesson from experience.

For example, if your child keeps forgetting about keeping books in his bag according khổng lồ the timetable, let him face the natural consequence once. The lesson from his experience will be far more effective than your constant verbal reminders.

When he faces the natural consequences, he will be more self-dependent on making changes.

For smaller kids, you can make them clean the mess they make or make them pick up the toys và ask them to lớn keep everything where they belong.


Stop being a helicopter parent who makes all the decisions for your child và tries to protect them from making mistakes. Experts say that the children of helicopter parents develop low self-confidence and lack life skills.

When parents vì chưng everything for their children even when they are past the age of doing the chores by themselves, they become lazy, dependent & entitled.

So stop hovering around your children and let them make their choices and mistakes. Let them learn from the failures for it will help them become resilient.

At all times, express your belief in them và their choices. You can help them get back up when they fall, but don’t prevent them from falling.

You can let them make decisions in their matters from a young age. Let them choose which dress they want khổng lồ wear, which toy they want lớn buy or what theme they want for their birthday party.


One of the secrets of raising independent children is, making routines. Though every family is not keen on making routines for children, many mothers including me run on routines.

It’s because I have found it’s easier to get co-operation from children when they know what they are expected khổng lồ do. You can create checklists & chore charts to ensure routine tasks are performed smoothly without much intervention from you.

When they run through the same motions daily, they learn their responsibilities faster. And learn to do their activities independently.



Teaching kids about money management is a life skill that will decide how independent and successful they will be in the future.

I still remember the lesson my college professor taught me about money. She told us, “Always ask yourself one question when you wanna buy something, Is this a want or a need?”.

I have been able to let go of so many impulse purchases & save money và regret, by asking this question to lớn myself. And that decision would most probably be right.

And this is a lesson I hope to pass onto my children. When my kids ask for more toys, I remind them about the toys they already have and that they simply don’t need another one now.

Instill saving habits in them by encouraging them to lớn save. If they want to buy a toy, help them count và save money for the target amount from their allowances. Now, I won’t ask my young kids to save money for whatever they want to buy. We provide for themand buy them what they need.

But once in a while, when they have the desire khổng lồ buy something, we can ask them, “Why don’t we save some money from your allowances and buy it?”.

It will be a proud moment for them when they achieve the goal & it also proves to lớn them what they are capable of.


Sometimes I talk khổng lồ my elder daughter about the future & I always remind her how important it is for everyone lớn be independent.

I cite examples from my own life by saying, “Mommy earns money by writing, & that helps us lớn not depend on others to meet our needs. You too can make use of your skills & be independent once you become older.”

I tell her about the benefits we can enjoy if we are independent, by taking small examples from our daily life. And I also appreciate và praise her when she does something on her own. There is no force or pressure, but the idea is lớn build the desire in kids khổng lồ be independent so that they wish to lớn enjoy the benefits too.


Patience is the ultimate virtue that you wanna develop when you are a parent. & that is if you want lớn become a better parent.

When it is hard for you to see your child making mistakes——breathe.

When it is hard for you to lớn wait when they are as slow as a snail to tie the shoelace and you are running late ——breathe.

When it is hard for you lớn remain calm when they fold the cloth in the wrong way even after demonstrating for the fiftieth time ——breathe.

It is easier for you to do it and get the job done faster, but how will he learn?

If they don’t have the opportunity lớn learn & grow, they are not going lớn be independent.

Hence, bite your tongue & take deep breaths. Not easy, I know. But it will be worth it.

So, these are my best tips on how khổng lồ make kids independent. What tactics vì chưng you use? Let me know in the comments below.